Journal Entry 11.19.19

It is 12:35 PM on Tuesday November 19th, 2019. The weather is overcast with gray clouds, the temperature a cool 62 degrees and a strong wind blows through the trees. It is this type of weather that lets me know we are in autumn.

There are a number of thoughts running through my head so this post will be jumping all over the place.

Early morning when the rest of the household is still asleep is my favorite time. The stars still shine up above and at this type of year Orion is reliably overhead letting me know yet another year has passed. I enjoy the stillness of the early morning; it is when I can hear my inner voice with clarity and it brings me my best ideas and the confidence to make changes in my life.

In the early morning the day is brimming with opportunity. It is after all the first day of the rest of my life. Then as sure as the sun rises my mind goes on autopilot as it becomes bogged down with the various tasks and work I need to do. I feel as though I could almost checkout mentally and my fingers would still type, my feet still move, meetings could still be run and reports still processed. My tasks would still be accomplished whether or not I’m present mentally.

My mindset about the USA.

The age of Trump has completely changed my outlook and feeling of what it means to be an American. I’m 42 now and a viewpoint doesn’t change easily but the disaster that is Trump has also been a disaster for my feelings about the USA. For my entire life I had thought we were all on the same team. Sure we had our differences but at the end of the day we all wanted what was best for each other. Now, I unequivocally understand that I was completely wrong. The true purpose and DNA of America is for individual profit at all costs. This has been clearly shown by Republicans blockage of universal healthcare, their disdain for the environment, and the anger and hatred they spew daily on the Fox News channel.

I’m sorely disappointed in all of this. I was under the illusion that at the highest levels, all Americans were a team. How stupid I was. I thank the Republicans for clearly showing me that we are not on the same team. I’ll never make that mistake again for as long as I live. And with that, I’ll release all patriotism, the part of myself that was proud to identify as American, and (try) to release the crushing disappointment in my countrymen who support Trump. They are more enemies now than a countryman.

I still think that at the local level we can work together and do what is best for the community. But for those that support Trump, again, they are more akin to an enemy than a countryman given what Trump has tried to do. Perhaps the environment will change in the 2020 election but as for my own thoughts, I now completely understand that the underlying structure of America is personal profit with the ultra rich pulling the strings. Everyone below is simply a pawn in this global game.

Random thought about BMW and Lexus owners

BMW and Lexus owners are for the most part assholes. I’ve said this before and it hasn’t changed. I’d say that 80% of the time they drive aggressively and as though they are entitled. Any why shouldn’t they? We are in America aren’t we? Money rules and all the peasants who do not drive a BMW or Lexus should get off the road. I swear that those driving Lamborghinis, Jaguars and McLarens are more courteous! It is as though the BMW and Lexus owners have a need to show they are better than others by being rude to them on the road, whereas those that drive the Uber expensive cars are secure in their wealth. For those that drive a BMW or Lexus, you’ve already started off on the wrong foot with me and I expect you will be an asshole until you prove otherwise.

The Nintendo Switch

I got my own Switch a while back and love it. It allows me to play Fortnite with my son and is a great way to bond with him. The Switch has also given me a large dose of nostalgia with classic Genesis games. When I play them I can catch a flicker of my teenage mindset, my thoughts and feelings, when I played Genesis games as a kid. It is only a flicker but I really enjoy those very brief flashes of long ago.

CO2 Levels

My mom got me an air quality detector I had long wanted. It all started with the fires that are occurring with greater frequency here in California. I found an app called IQAir Visual that was really fantastic in letting me know how the air quality was outside. They also make detectors but at $260 I couldn’t just buy one. My mom got me one as an early Christmas present and I’m glad she did! The surprise was not in the air quality as the readings were as expected but instead the CO2 levels which I had never thought of.

I work in my shed which in industrial lingo is a “confined space.” From my days at Grainger I know confined spaces are dangerous but never thought of my own shed as being confined or dangerous. With my new sensor however I quickly learned that the CO2 levels were terrible!! The reason is because I usually kept the windows and door closed but of course I still had to breathe. Therefore, the amount of oxygen in my shed quickly lowered while CO2 from my breathe quickly elevated. I’ve been working in this shed for two years and all the while been breathing awful air!

This was absolutely astounding to me. Here I am, thinking I’m relatively smart and have my life under control only to learn that I’ve been really hurting my health by breathing poor air and was completely oblivious about it for such a long time. It made me think about all the other things we do not know yet affect us greatly. We have chemicals that surround us with my favorite example being that of lead in gasoline. It was everywhere, permeating everyone and not until the 60s that a scientist called it out (and was attacked by other scientists!). What else surrounds us, permeates us that we do not realize and may never realize? The greatest example I can think of at the moment is dark matter. We have no idea what it is yet it is all around. Going further we could even get philosophical and perhaps all of life is just an illusion, yet just like CO2, without a sensor we are blissfully unaware.

Well, it is now 1:42 and I have some more tasks to accomplish today.

By Mateo de Colón

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/