Journal Entry – 11.5.2017

It is a clear, crisp and cool November morning.  The Hunter’s Moon was big and bright when I awoke at 3:00 AM thanks to the end of daylight savings time.  Being Sunday and with the adjustment of the clock I had more time than usual this morning to get things done.

I did my usual chores of putting the dried dishes away, getting the coffee ready, drank wheatgrass, and got a workout in all before 8:00 AM.  Then I actually had a *relatively* quiet morning on the couch reading while my boys looked at their iPad and iPhone.

While reading it came to me that I life is lived in the mind.  I had a flash of insight in that I’ve lived in a low state of anxiety (normal for salespeople/account managers) for a long time.  Add the business of kids and rarely having down time my mind has been worn out and I’m beginning to think that a 40 year old brain just doesn’t get excited about much anymore.  In fact, while I was on the elliptical there were some scantily clad women in the videos and it did absolutely nothing for me.  Women aside, the flash of insight let me know that I needed something to be excited about and to try to train my mind to be in a happy state even without external stimulation.  When we’re young, becoming enthusiastic and excited about things comes easily.  Not so much when you’re 40.

It is not that I don’t have a great life, I do.  I have a great family, a wonderful house, and get plenty of exercise.  In fact, it is the exercise which does something to my mind that puts me in a great mood.  I worked out yesterday, went to karate and then worked out again this morning which is making me feel very good.  As for karate, I was a little excited about it but now it is just routine, something to learn and to make my body stronger without much enthusiasm.  Yes, I like learning nunchakus, new kicks and getting better at fighting but it doesn’t give me the uplift it might have when I was younger.

Anyway, perhaps I just need a recharge and the workout as well as relatively peaceful morning have helped a little.

In the afternoon it will be just me and the boys as the wife is going to a restaurant to meet up with friends and have a nice time in the city.  When she returns I’m heading up to Wind Gap Winery to meet my cousin and her husband who are in town for their 15th wedding anniversary.  She used to live in Berkeley until her husband got a new job back in Cincinnati.  It will be good to see them both.

Categorized as Journal

By Mateo de Colón

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/