Journal Entry 2.4.2017

It is 3:37 AM.  My son and I did the fighting class in addition to regular karate class yesterday.  The different between us is that when he exercises a lot he will sleep soundly and deeply until morning;  I however will not and wake up after only five or so hours of sleep and so here I am.

Recently I’ve been very anxious and my mindset somber.  Never before in my life have I actually had to worry that we might be very well headed for a nuclear war and yet here it is.  We have a President who is, naive, boisterous, inexperienced and dangerous, that is spouting bluster, alienating allies and enraging adversaries.  I have to hold my breath to open the news every morning as I half expect there to be some military confrontation happening.

It is also appalling to me to see how infantile and ignorant a great portion of my countrymen are.  The news is so twisted and ‘spun’ these days that it less resembles news and more straight propaganda.  Fox was terrible before but now it is in an entirely new dimension of awfulness.  If a Republican let out a ‘Yugee’ eye watering, acrid fart which cleared a room, Fox would say it was the most American fart ever, smelling of apple pie and freedom!  Americans believe whatever their news tells them and the news has a narrative and an audience it must always appeal to.  There is a war going on in America and it is that of information and how to portray it so it fits a certain narrative.

For me, living overseas was the most eye opening and learning experience of my life.  I realized just how much of a fishbowl people of every country live in when it comes to understanding the outside world.  And now, there is a certain segment in my own country the USA who understand absolutely nothing about the outside world, who have elected a man who also understands little, and they all are advocating aggressiveness and even war.  It is almost enraging to think that the most controversial item of the past 8 years was trying to give people healthcare and now nuclear war is a very big possibility due to the decision of very ignorant people.  These people who were so upset about health coverage and now may have helped cause a lot of future death.  Truth is stranger than fiction is true indeed!

Thankfully, and just this morning, I was given some peace of mind reading about the defense chief Jim Mattis, his trip to Asia, and his comments regarding China and North Korea.  Finally, a member of government – a very important member of government whose decisions lives depend on – knows what he is doing.  I guess I half expected a member of the Trump administration to lay down an ultimatum or take immediate aggressive measures that would lead to war in the next couple of weeks.  I feel better now with him between Trump and possible military action.

So yes, Trump has caused me and half a nation a lot of angst.  Hell, I couldn’t even enjoy Star Wars – Rogue One very much last week as seeing the Death Star destroy much of a planet is just too close to what nuclear bombs have a 20% chance of doing in the next four years.

There is also work:  changes are happening, but changes are always in the works in corporate America and nothing ever stays the same.  I also have a lot to accomplish here in the beginning of the year which should go fine but are still a bit uncertain and cause for anxiety.

So, given Trump and work I just haven’t been in a very peaceful state of mind recently.  I’ll have to resort to mental exercises and realize that I shouldn’t spend too much time worrying about things outside of my control.

It is now 4:14 AM and I think I’ll go for my ‘second sleep.’  We’ve got karate again today and I’ll need to be rested.

By Mateo de Colón

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/