It is 6:29 AM. I’ve had my wheatgrass juice, put the dishes away, made the coffee, updated the computer, uploaded photos and meditated. It is now time for a journal entry for which I should have time before everyone wakes up.
The new refrigerator comes today which we’re pretty excited about. It will be nice to actually have a water and ice dispenser that actually works. Our neighbor Tom was also kind enough to fix the water line connections under the sink so we’re ready to go.
Karate class continues to go well although we had to skip a few days due to illness picked up at school. My Dad told me that at forty years old stuff hurts that didn’t hurt before and he is right. It does take a little longer to recover whether it be from a strenuous workout or a hangover, they all take time. For me it is my hips that hurt a little; it is not in an old man sort of way but from sitting seiza, doing splits as well as high kicks that stretch them out I guess. I can really feel it when I go to sit cross legged or do a roundhouse kick.
Today there is a special clinic but we’re not going. We’re still pretty new and I really didn’t want to pay two entry fees since it seems money has been flying out of my wallet lately. There is the school PTO that we sent a big donation to, there is the karate tuition and last months testing fee, housing insurance, a supply of contact lenses, car maintenance, the new fridge and so on and so no. When you’re a kid and make $5 that entire amount can be spent on whatever brings the most joy in that moment. When you’re an adult there are thousands and thousands of dollars you’re required to spend although the purchased item doesn’t bring any joy; insurance is most likely the main culprit here, along with various payments for utilities, housing upkeep and so on.
I’m now on another Facebook hiatus and believe this one will last a while. Speaking of joy, Facebook wasn’t bringing me any so I decided to stop. I guess it could be called Facebook fatigue and to be honest I’m bored with it. So I’ve uninstalled it from my phone, use a different texting app and just find myself enjoying not checking it at all. It seems I still get notifications if someone messages me so I won’t miss anything. I like the idea of going into Facebook seclusion and using that time to explore other parts of the internet.
It seem the holiday season has started early. I mentioned in a previous post that we’ve got Halloween decorations up already which is much too soon but that’s ok. The Northern California Renaissance Faire has also started and I’m looking forward to going to that. To be honest, I wish the family appreciated it a bit more. I like attending it with them but the kids will be tired, cranky and want to go. So although I really enjoy going with them I also wish I could just go by myself or with a friend like I did last year. Alone I can sit and watch the shows in peace, go into the adult section, drink as much Mudder’s Milk as I please and really enjoy it. For my family it will be too hot, they’ll be too tired, it will be too dusty and son on and so on. It would be nice to have a friend who enjoyed it as much as I do. *I’m listening to Renaissance Faire music right now to get in the mood. 🙂 *
I was able to see the stars this morning which I haven’t seen in a while due to the fog. So, one of my first thoughts today was about understanding. I never really completely understood what stars are and still do not. For much of my life they were just twinkling things up in the sky. Now I know that they are actual suns except for the few planets that travel the same line across the sky. Now, when I look up and think that each of those stars would have planets orbiting and it is possible life is on those planets. I’m looking at the sun of very probable alien civilizations and they would see my sun as one of their stars. I never thought about it this way before. Living next to the ocean has also made me fully comprehend how the earth turns in relation to the sun and also how the moon orbits the earth and how/why the lit portion of its surfaces changes over time. Yes, I read explanations in books but I really didn’t comprehend until I looked up at the sky, on the edge of the ocean and contemplated it.
There are different levels of understanding and for the first time I really understand that we’re on a tiny, speck of a rock hurtling through a vast and terrible infinite void. It is absolutely terrifying when understood fully. It makes me think that the astronauts should have been frozen with fear after they left the protective atmosphere of the earth. Perhaps they were trained to turn this fear off, not look out into the infinite void and concentrate on their tasks. Or perhaps they did and were filled with a type of ‘spiritual’ awe. I hate to use that word ‘spiritual’ as it as been corrupted by so much non-understanding, superstition and fairy tale. But it is the perfect word when one realizes how insignificant we are and there must be so much we simply cannot comprehend.